getyourassbeat:

opens window curtains, takes 50 selfies in natural light, closes window curtains

(Source: theflashingwater, via parahumor)

funnytext-posts:

on the bright side i am not addicted to cocaine

(Source: clavid, via parahumor)

snorlaxlovesme:

rosereturns:

things said in majority of movies:

• “I TRUSTED YOU!!”
• “she’s not just some girl!”
• “I should have told you this a long time ago.”
• “I’m not a little girl anymore!!”
• “but I love him!!”

-“You’re giving up your dream!”
  “No dad, I’m giving up YOUR dream.”

(via parahumor)

kaleigh-marie:

If your thighs touch then you’re one step closer to being a mermaid so who’s the real winner here

(Source: kaleigh-marie-blog, via parahumor)

orchardly:

reminder to self: just because you can stay up until 5 in the morning doesn’t mean you should

(via parahumor)

64kbps:

soulja boy tell em. im too shy

(Source: shalrath, via parahumor)

seanp0donnell:

metallics:

I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT awkward teenage girl who sorta wants a man but can’t really get one 

(via parahumor)

theanti90smovement:

sorry i cant hang out with u today i have to catch up on my crying

(Source: grovericon, via parahumor)

dulect:

Blue Ivy is already 2 and she’s achieved more than what I will in my entire life 

(via parahumor)

natasaromanoff:

say something im giving up on school

(via parahumor)